for thinking, feeling something happened to me.
the sense, that it is I that is me who is messed up. It makes all the bad feelings about yourself even harder to cope with. This is part of my belief of the puritanical thinking and inability of so many to acknowledge sexual abuse happens and don't try to answer the question of why it happens as a result. our society is so afraid to admit it happens they actually shame people who've been abused, but would never shame an accident victim or someone who was a victim of another form of violence. Interesting though if someone is in a car accident or is witness to a horrible act, no one says 'how can you not remember?' or if you feel scared near an accident scene no one says why does that bother you. Then I heard the comments, how could you not remember? I don't friggn know! Then the societal comments of false memories, then the doubt. Finally after a long time my therapist said it was possible to not remember. Created scenarios in my head of how I could control my father if he was helpless, humiliate him etc. My husband was like, it's just a movie.I wanted to punish that man. I became enraged a man could do 'that' to a woman without her permission.mad, then crying. At one point had an obsession with watching movies of women being abused, Lifetime channel? at the time was married. Did it happen? why can't I remember him doing anything? I feel it. is obsessed with figuring out why things happen. what is the feeling? the sense of anxiety and fear? In my experience the child, me. How does a child that cannot talk deal with this feeling. They know it is wrong the fear they feel transfers to the child. but I think men especially men that have been emasculated or molested or shamed may find the opportunity of having their own child to look at or touch may begin as a curiousity that turns into improper touching and desire they choose not to stop even when they know they should. it's only ok if you are married, really? we are sexual beings, making things off limits sets up secrets and hiding for something that is very primal. The mentality that its bad makes people hide. our society is puritanical, based on religion that believes sex is bad except for in marriage. Personally I think it may begin as a curiousity. Posts: 14 Joined: Wed 6:51 pm Local time: Mon 10:57 am Blog: View Blog (1)įirst it's wrong, no matter what. I stopped that cycle? hope so! Love covers a multitude of sins. My daughter is now 34, married and NORMAL. She had read my mind! Knew it was wrong and yes wanted it anyway! But I knew better, 17 will get you how many years? I was raised with incest and refused to pass that along. Smiled and asked was I jealous? Let me know I could have some if I wanted! I was floored. Good lored! She asked me if I was going to tell her mom, did I have to? She said it was just sex with her cousins. My oldest girl was so innocent looking, I never knew untill I intercepted some letters from her. She was also doing things with this girl who was a socalled friend.
My oldest stepdaughter had sex w/both her cousins and I tallked with her about it ,was concerned. I have two Step daughters and the thought has more than crossed my mind. why is it a parent who,s an alchoholic has children who drink and turn out the same? Ever have sex with your best friends boy /girl friend and realize the sex was good BECAUSE it was a little dangerous AND it was wrong? Dangerous adds extra excitement and wrong makes you want it all the more so. Sometimes people repeat what they know, whats happened to them when little.
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